2026 June 30 Normal is defined by you

Hi, this is Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcasting website about re-imagining your life. Thanks for joining me to talk about how normal is whatever we define normal to be. So let's get started.

If you like what you hear today, please leave a like, subscribe, tell your friends, send me a message. This week we're going to be talking about what exactly is normal. That sounds like a bit of a loaded question, and it is.

Normal only makes sense in the context of normal versus abnormal. So if you don't have a good basis for reference, it's pretty easy to define what's truly normal as somehow being actually abnormal. This is particularly relevant as we age, though truthfully, we've dealt with this kind of paradox throughout our entire lives.

When we went from grammar school to high school, or from high school to college or to a job, and so on, we always faced the same shift. But in those cases, we had some idea of what was coming, and we also expected it as a kind of normal progression. In grammar school, if you had a sore throat, you stayed home. In your work life, if you're on a deadline, you're in at the office working unless you were truly deathly ill. Honestly, for many people, even that change was quite disruptive, because they had built up an expectation of what normal was supposed to be.

Now that we're older, what happens when there's a big life change? Well, other than some fairly recent communities, like 7 Every Minute and others like us, there wasn't really a lot said about retirement besides the ads targeting us — things like "wealthy retirees" and AARP, and sometimes I feel they kind of miss the message.

So once people got to that next phase of life, and the realities that came with it, they felt pretty much on their own, with no good vision and no real expectations of what would come next. So what's the obvious comparison point for the new normal? The old normal, of course — working, having your family close by, still having a spouse, or whatever the big changes were that you experienced. I'd like to gently suggest that if you're thinking of what used to be as "normal," you're looking from the wrong reference point.

When you went to high school, I hope you didn't spend four years missing what was normal in grammar school. More than likely, you learned the new guidelines, adapted, and that became your new normal. You can, and should, do the same thing at your age.

I have an example that actually just happened yesterday. I was at Bilingual Rosary — I've mentioned I'm one of the leaders for that. After we finished, a folk group of mostly quite young people started setting up to practice for an event this coming Friday night. Lo and behold, who walks through the door lugging his guitar and an amp but one of my high school buddies, who plays with them. To put this in perspective, he was probably two and a half to three times older than everyone else there.

But that didn't stop him. He can still sing, he's still a great musician, he's still a great guitar player, and he knows he can still contribute — so he does. He's not sitting around wishing he was still playing at a heavy metal club until closing time. He's living his life to the fullest in ways that are accessible to him. He's still funny, he's still upbeat. He hasn't let aging take away his willingness to contribute.

And by the way, that touches on two of our big five pillars: Mind — how you perceive things — and Contribution — giving to others. He's defining his own new normal while holding onto everything he's always been. He smiles, he laughs, he's willing to lend a hand, he's happy to join in, make something work, and help someone else's success. His core identity hasn't changed at all. His sense of contribution hasn't changed either. He probably isn't headlining medium-sized venues anymore — he's not doing that — and he could have easily decided he was invisible or meaningless by comparing himself to what used to be. Instead, he's looking forward, seeing new opportunities, and pursuing them.

So the question is: how are you looking at your normal? Are you looking backward and missing the good old days? Or looking forward to all the new opportunities? Quick side note: remember, the good old days always look better when you're looking back on them. Don't forget all the pressure you had, all the deadlines — those were part of the good old days too.

Are you defining what used to be as normal, and what you are now as abnormal? And if you are, why? Just like my buddy, you are still you. All your skills, your talent, your personality, your identity — everything that made you, is still there.

What a lot of people get misled by is thinking that things like awards, bonuses, work friends, or other transient things are what made up and defined their life. But life is really made up of friends, family, and your true personality — your identity in the world where no one is watching. And those things haven't changed.

Where we often get off track is thinking of our career as who we are. But our career is just one expression of who we were — and frankly, who we still are. If we were great managers, great organizers, we still are, and we can still use those skills in any way we want. Usually we don't, because we ourselves have decided they aren't relevant — not because the world doesn't still need us. We've made that choice.

So don't get tripped up thinking there's some hard new normal of meaninglessness ahead of you as you age. As more than one of my mentors has said, you will find what you seek. If you expect to be meaningless, that's what you'll most likely find. But if you expect to find new and different opportunities — perhaps even more satisfying than what was behind you — then that's what you'll find too.

Remember, for your whole life, at every phase, even during your career, every new normal was abnormal until you figured it out. Then it became familiar, and it became your new normal. That same spirit of discovery is still relevant, and it will still lead you to new opportunities as you get older. So stay excited, stay open-minded, and remember: as you seek, so you shall find.

That's it for this week. No more homework — we've got some courses coming up. But as always, remember, one of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others.

Check out UKR7.com, where we have links to organizations helping the people of Ukraine, and WCK.org — World Central Kitchen — which works in disaster areas around the world. There are also a lot of local charities always looking for help. But even if you're not in a position to do any of those things right now, just a simple smile can change someone else's day for the better in ways you can't even imagine.

As always, thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting and useful, please pass it along, subscribe, and hit that like button. Drop me a comment if there's something you'd like to chat about. Have a great week.

Remember to live the life that you dreamed of, because that's the path to true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone. See you next week on 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com.