2026 February 17 Making space to grow

We all live pretty busy lives in one form or another. We may be busy working, or perhaps we're busy with non-work commitments — even busy being retired, or perhaps doing nothing. And even doing nothing can be a full-time job if you really just sit and put your mind to peacefully passing time. That can actually take up your day. I've had vacations where I've done exactly that.

No matter what we're doing, though, we're still focused on whatever it is that's occupying us. Most of us probably also spend time trying to improve ourselves in some ways — whether it's doing some walking for exercise, studying something interesting, or pursuing hobbies. But again, that activity is the target of our attention and focus.

So what's missing? And it's never really brought up in Western society these days — it's leaving some time for doing nothing much. In the spirit of Henry David Thoreau and Walden, or Life in the Woods, and many other authors writing in a similar vein, sometimes doing nothing can be the most important thing we do. Because when we do nothing, we free up some space to allow our mind to grow, to be creative, to sort through troubling issues, to see the beauty of the world, and to just pay attention to itself. Even if briefly, that is the idea of getting some space between the demands of everyday life and working on yourself.

That middle ground is often overlooked because it's not seen as being productive. Most Western societies are capitalistic in structure and in nature, so the emphasis is on doing things. Even what should be relaxing activities — like learning to play an instrument, speaking another language, or visiting other parts of the world — the emphasis is usually on the efficiency of the process rather than the pleasure of the journey. Learn to play piano in 90 days. Learn to speak like a native by just listening to recordings on your commute. Or my favorite: experience a distant culture in only 11 days. Truly, experience cruises have always fascinated me, since I haven't been able to fully experience even my local culture in almost three-quarters of a century. Where I live is made up of at least a dozen or so major nationalities, plus over a dozen Native American tribes, with even more subgroups and religious sects. Yet the cruise lines want you to experience a whole region or country in a week or two.

There's also joy in slowly doing things. In taking piano lessons, but also just sitting at the piano and playing around with what notes sound nice or fun together, or evoke an emotion. Lisa Witt — and I have no affiliation with her at all, I just think she does great work — has many videos encouraging people to just take three chords, play them different ways and in different orders, and see what pretty melodies they can make. It isn't to learn the piano per se, or to learn it the fastest. It's simply to sit and enjoy it. And that same approach can be applied to all of life. You don't need to be an expert or the quickest learner in order to enjoy something.

There's a saying in emergency medicine, and probably in other areas as well: slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. That same principle applies in life. Being deliberate and calm results in better outcomes with fewer mistakes and less lost time. At first it seems counterintuitive, but it's really true — whether it's a medical emergency or just enjoying a walk outside for some exercise.

Leaving that little space between all the doing of things, and letting our mind relax and mindfully take in what the world has to offer, allows us to enjoy more of our day. There are so many things around us that aren't common, but are wonderful — a special flower, hearing a song in the wind, seeing a group of happy people and trying to imagine what they might be celebrating. These and so much more are daily gifts available to be noticed and to brighten our day, if we let them.

It's good to appreciate things that are good for what they are — just being good — and to let go of only being satisfied with perfection. The desire for perfection is simply another marketing guise to sell you that perfect vacation, that perfect wedding, that perfect car, whatever it might be. Perfection isn't an object. It isn't something that's bought. It's something that you create in your own mind. Why is this color perfect? Why is a hundred-thousand-dollar wedding more perfect than a ten-thousand-dollar wedding? We get to decide what's perfect to us. So use that power to make the world perfect to you.

And one of the things we get to choose is how we want to use our time. Is it good to be productive generally? Sure. It helps us to accomplish things that matter to us. We've probably all heard the saying, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop." But I suggest that never idle hands are the devil's tools of torment — never allowing us to see the wonder of the world, and never allowing your thoughts to grow. Because it's in those idle times, when your thoughts can roam freely, that you're able to slowly and peacefully see the good in the world, sort out your own thoughts, and allow your subconscious to work on matters of importance to you.

Certainly one approach is meditation in any of its many forms. But it can be as simple as just walking along, looking at the world without thinking about the world or analyzing anything. Thoughts may come and go, but just like in meditation, just let them pass and focus more on what's around you. This is why walking in nature is often so refreshing — not with earbuds in playing some pounding beat to keep your pace up, or a fitness watch telling you you're behind your personal record for that last loop. Just you and the world, paying attention to only each other.

And no matter what approach you take — meditation, nature walking, whatever — your mind will naturally fall into a calmer state and be more open to making changes and envisioning a future that you want.

Of course, we've all been in the mindset of wanting to make a change in some particular situation, but then when we return to everyday life and our normal routine, that initial desire tends to slip away. The hardest part of making a change is maintaining that change. So even if you become more mindful in the short term, you'll tend to drift back to being dissatisfied due to the constant pressures from life — and of course, from marketing all around you.

One of the best ways to maintain a change is to be involved with or around others who are trying to live life the way you would like to. You'll get encouragement from other people's successes, ideas of how to maintain your own momentum, and some degree of accountability because you may have shared a change that you want to make. It's actually pretty amazing how much difference it can make. I'm in two groups — one of which meets weekly with four members, and the other is more frequent but only two of us are still actively in the group. In both cases, just saying what we want to do out loud to the other members is a huge motivation to keep moving forward. Plus, it's always fun to celebrate when anyone has a big win — or even a small win — that they've shared.

So this is why we're excited to announce that we will finally be opening our membership by March of this year. I know we mentioned this a few months ago, and while the mechanics of it were promptly put together by my eager and competent staff — and they truly are — it was all set to go. As always, I've been the hold-up, just getting some background material together. While we could do a Facebook group, I think a membership site will make it easier to find and share information, and you won't be distracted by everything else on Facebook or have to wonder if the whole world is seeing what you post. It's just a private group. We're going to be doing some early testing and will keep you updated on how it's going. We're pretty excited about it, and we'll be looking for some people to join early and tell us how it's working out — looking for ideas and feedback and everything else. Right now it's planned for March. I'll let you know if anything changes, but that's what we expect going forward.

So that's it for this week. Your homework is to think about your recent days and whether you actually set aside any time to just empty your mind and be present with the world around you. If not, were there any times when you could have? Even little things — like walking from your car to a store — when maybe you could have taken a look at the sky or some trees. Any time you can make a little space in your life counts. Extra points if you can find some regular time or situation when you can take even a few minutes to just let your brain relax, take in the world around you, and find some peace in your day.

Remember, one of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others. Visit UKR7.com or WCK.org for two international organizations doing great work, but there are also a lot of local charities — and even simple things you can do, like helping someone who doesn't seem to be having a great day. Just a little smile can change someone else's day for the better in ways you can't even imagine.

As always, thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting and useful, please pass it along — and please subscribe and hit that like button. If not, please drop me a comment as to what you'd like to hear. Have a great week. Remember to live the life that you dreamed of, because that's the path to true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone. See you next week on 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com.