2022 March 22 The Value of Friends

Hi, this is Jim Cranston from 7EveryMinute and 7EveryMinute.com, the podcast and website by, for, and about Baby Boomers. Thanks for joining me tonight for another quick reminder of something that we often overlook, the importance of friendships. So, let’s get started on that. But first, of course, we have the reminder. This is the number for the National Suicide Hotline, Just a reminder that I’m not a medical professional. I will be talking about things that I personally find useful and helpful. If you find yourself feeling truly hopeless or depressed, please seek medical and professional attention. Just dial 911 if need be. Starting in July (2022), and already available in some areas, dialing 988 will connect you immediately for assistance. Good to know for yourself or a friend. Keep that in mind please. 

We all have perhaps one or maybe a few or maybe even many people that we call friends. They might be a sibling. They might be a spouse. They might be someone from work or school or just someone we somehow got connected with. One way or another, we just clicked with each other. We always seem to want to hang out and spend time with each other. We talk to each other, but it’s not like just the person you meet at the cooler at work. There’s something really special about the friendship, and you’ve probably heard that most of the time you really only have one or a couple of friends. Everyone else is just kind of acquaintances, but we all know that at some level, which was really brought home to me this past weekend, because I was just super excited and thrilled to spend a day together with my youngest.

We had an adventure looking at left-handed guitars, and we’ll talk about that some other time. Obviously, he’s an awesome guy because he’s my son. He's a completely self-taught guitarist, and he learned to play strictly through determination and dedication. He spent many years - he would literally never leave the house. They go outside and play ball or something. He would always bring a guitar with him. He’s a real example of setting a goal and just making it come true. So he's a really special guy. So, we had a great day talking about a whole bunch of things, some serious, some not. We went to a a really neat little guitar store up in the Adirondack Mountains called Adirondack Guitars and we were busy lusting after some beautiful left-handed Martin acoustic guitars. Then we made an unexpected stop to see an old friend of mine in the nearby town. 

We’ll just call him Joe. Joe and I were talking and my son was there. We realized, he kind of liked our own delight and our own horror, that we’ve now known each other for 49 years. Luckily neither one of us has changed, or we got better or whatever. But what was really special about the visit, right? Besides that Joe and I are always there for each other, even when we don’t see each other for months or even years. Like say when there’s a pandemic, and I walked in. We surprised him. He was working. The whole situation reacted as though we had seen each other for dinner the night before. Wasn’t like oh what’s new? Jesus I hadn’t seen you in a while or anything else. The conversation just picked up and it was obvious to my son how close we really were. That we weren’t just acquaintances, but we could really count on each other, and we’re always welcome in each other’s lives. It was also obvious that my son was totally welcome and respected there. Just by virtue that Joe trusted that if you were my son, then it was automatically somebody Joe would welcome into his world with no qualifications, no reservations. It was a really special time. After we left, my son commented repeatedly how influential Joe had been in his life, even though they only saw each other a few times. He knew that there was a bond there between Joe and I, but he also couldn’t believe how after so very many years, 

Joe and I still were just as good friends, but it’s not like Joe and I always got along perfectly.I’ll mention that in a second, but you know, we were still just completely comfortable seeing each other and I don’t have a lot of Joe’s in my life. I’m really fortunate to have, probably two or three or three or four people I could consider at or near that level of friendship, which is really unusual and I’m totally blessed and fortunate to have that. Joe and I don’t always perfectly mesh, especially when we work together, because we’ve worked together as well as just been friends together. Even when we fight, we always end each and every day as good friends and that’s really important because we both know that our friendship is more important than any little thing that we might be upset about. Any little disagreement, approach or or whatever. 

So, I just kind of remind you, that if you have a good friend or a friendship, that you may have let languish due to work or life, whatever came around, I would encourage you just to pick up the phone and call them, send them an email, keep in touch somehow because you know, a true friend is somebody who’s not only there to help you when when you need help but they’re also someone who you never mind helping out iff they should need anything at all. For me, Joe and I have always been there for each other. Often in very small ways. You know, but we’ve given each other tough advice, and we’ve both been a real strength and oftentimes a real pain for each other. But we always knew we could trust each other. That’s a really special thing in a world that often encourages us only to think about ourselves. 

That’s really what I wanted to talk about, about friendships. If you have a good one, it’s really easy to take it for granted, and I would just encourage you don’t!  Friendships take work and just, always at some some level keep in touch with each other. If right now you’re thinking, why, I don’t have anybody who’s a friend, then, I would encourage you to think back in your life who used to be a friend, and decide if you still want to be their friend. A friendship isn’t something that’s difficult. I mean, a really good friend is not difficult. It’s not a lot of work. Maybe that’s one of the hallmarks of a good friendship. Is that if a friendship is really a good true friendship it’ll be something that you want to do. 

That’s what I would encourage you, if you don’t have any, at least try and cultivate one or a couple, because we all know the world these days is getting a bit tumultuous. You know there’s a lot of things going on. There’s a lot of people who are telling us that we shouldn’t get along with our neighbor because they’re of a different political party or they have a different view on something. The whole world right now just seems to be, with the news, always trying to be sensationalist. Telling us all the differences that we have from each other. Having a good friendship reminds you that there are people in the world that you can truly share everything with and just have a good time together. 

So, that’s kind of it. As always, the reminder if you want to support Ukraine, you want to support any cause that you’re in favor of, call your US senator, call the contact, you can email, you can send them a letter - a real physical letter, you can pick up and leave a phone message for them. Contact the US Senator, your representative for any matter. This link: 7em.link/Congress. That’s a short link that I have. It goes directly to the congressional office, and there you can find out who your Representatives are. Even though that may seem like a little inconsequential step, actually, it really matters, because they take your feedback. They really do. It’s an aggregate, but if your congress person knows that you’re interested in something, and that you’ll back them, they’re more likely to back the cause that you’re calling them about. You know, acting even in a small way, and especially in a manner that’s consistent with your core beliefs, you’ll find that you really feel less threatened by the world and more involved and competent in your actions and your life. 

Then the other one is UKR7.com, right? Don’t forget that the war in Ukraine is still absolutely raging, potent, and purposely targeting civilian areas and hospitals, schools. He bombed a theater that was known to contain children and women. Only no military whatsoever. He’s really going after non-military targets. He’s just making an absolute mess of the place, trying to wear the people down. It’s something that you have to be interested in. If not for yourself, then for the Ukrainian people themselves. If not for the Ukraines, then for your own children and grandchildren. 

This is really a major precursor. We urge you to get involved, if you have the capability of making donations. There’s certainly a lot of links on this page that help you there. There are all sorts of donation groups and organizations right now. There’s ones doing just humanitarian aid. There’s ones helping relocate children. There’s a ton around. If you search for 30 seconds, if you don’t want to use this page, there’s a ton of good verified and vetted links. There’s also a bunch of people trying to take your money. Obviously, I hope you’re savvy enough. Go to good verified links. Go to CNN, it has one that I’m going to add to this page and so, there’s a lot of good ways to donate. If you can, please do. It's something that’s going on now and really needs your attention.  

One of the best ways to care for yourself is to care for others. Think of it as doing self-care by helping others. Please keep everyone involved. Pass it along. Somebody says, oh I wish I could help. I don’t know what to do. Just say, hey, go to UKR7.com and there’s a bunch of links there. So, they have no excuse, and you get the people who are just making excuses. You catch them in their silliness. 

So, as always: be true to yourself, and live a life aligned with your true goals and your feelings. Again, just to recommend trying if you don’t have any right now, try and cultivate one or even a couple good solid friends. You’ll always be there for each other, and you’ll always know that no matter what is going on out in the world, that someone’s watching out for you, and it’s nice to know that you’re watching out for someone else. It gives you a really nice feeling inside, and it’s nice to also know that somebody’s watching out for you. It’s really good. 

So that’s it for the week. Thank you for stopping by. If you found something interesting and useful, please pass it along. If not, please drop me a comment as to what you’d like to hear. Have a good week. Thank you for visiting and remember to live the life that you always dreamed of, because that’s the path to true contentment. Love and encouragement to everyone and see you next week on 7EveryMinute.com